Uninvited
by Elizabeth Perry
Summary: Addison centric...Addex pairing. One Shot on her thoughts after last week's episode and sometime in the future.


A/N: So riding home from work yesterday, I was listening to an mix of all my old music and I stumbled  
upon Alanis Morissette's Univited from the City of Angels soundtrack and I immediately thought of Addison.  
Well, I'll be honest almost everything these days make me think of her and so I wrote this one-shot. Let me know  
your thoughts. It's told in Addison's point of view and it's an Addex story...(Sorry to my fellow Addek lovers but only  
Alex could fit this song in my mind)

Disclaimers: I own nothing nor do I want the hassle.

* * *

I would admit to myself if not you aloud that I had initiated the first kiss. The beginning of our affair or relationship…I still haven't decided how to rationalize it in my mind. I had kissed you in a moment of passion, a moment of loneliness that I didn't want to dwell upon. You didn't stop me; in fact you were quite responsive to my forward gesture. When you pulled back you looked at me in confusion. Like you weren't sure that the woman in front of you had made such a move. I pressed my lips to yours again hoping to eradicate the look of fear on your face and replace it with one of desire. It didn't take long. 

_Like anyone would be  
I am flattered by your fascination with me  
Like any hot-blooded woman  
I have simply wanted an object to crave  
But you, you're not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight_

We ran back to my hotel room and my hand was shaking so badly, I almost couldn't put the key into the lock. I was worried that I couldn't follow through but then I felt your hand cover mine and help me insert the key into the lock. As the hotel room door opened I was surrounded in darkness, a darkness that left me fearful yet comforted at the same time. I was used to being in the dark, I was used to being alone, and this I could do. I didn't realize you were beside me until I heard you exhale a breath and flip on the lights.

_Must be strangely exciting  
To watch the stoic squirm  
Must be somewhat hard telling  
To watch them burn me shepherd  
But you you're not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight_

This time you're the aggressor. You take my lips in a kiss that leaves me gasping for air as I reach for the bottom of your shirt. We shove our clothes aside hurriedly in a rush for intimacy. You still my hands and look into my eyes, "Bedroom?"

This is the moment, this is where I can decide that you can leave and I go back to my lonely mundane existence or I turn another page in my life. I hesitate slightly and you pick up on this and start to pull your clothes back on and this time, it is I who still your hands. I take your hand into mine and maneuver you into my bedroom and turn on the lights. We both stare at each other and then at the bed as if it was a confirmation about the shift that our relationship was about to take.

_Like any uncharted territory  
I must seem greatly intriguing  
You speak of my love like  
You have experienced love like mine before  
But this is not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight_

In the light of the morning, the feelings that I was so sure of last night that I wanted to act upon are the same ones that leave me with a sense of cowardice and internal anger.

I'm Addison Forbes Montgomery, damn it. I don't sleep with interns; I leave that to my ex-husband.

I try to rationalize that I had been drinking that I was feeling guilty for the pain that I caused Mark and for the fact that I'm alone but I know that I can't hide behind my pain any longer. I had slept with an intern, one that was actually reporting to me and I was conflicted.

I was no better than Derek and in that moment, I hated myself. My hatred was short-lived however as you pull me back into your arms to ignite the flames over again and all thoughts of self-loathing disappear.

_I don't think you unworthy  
I need a moment to deliberate._

"What do you think you're doing?" I look up from my chart into your pool of brown eyes that look wounded at my actions and I knew that I was wrong. I knew that I had wounded you deeply but I was too afraid to admit that my feelings for you could be real. In the hours after we slept together, I told myself that it had been an aberration, a figment of my imagination. I had not slept with Alex Karev.

"What do you mean Karev?"

You pull my arm to your side not forcefully, but enough to let me know that your intent was serious. You drag me into the supply closet and lock the door behind us, "What the hell was that Addison? You had me assigned back to Sloan? What the hell?"

I see the anger burning in your eyes, that same intensity that you had last night. The same intensity that we made love last night. Made love? Whoa, when had I shifted what had happened between us from sex to making love. Maybe it was the look in your eye that told me that what had happened between us meant more to you than a passing fling.

I exhale softly and stare into your eyes determined to plead my case, "Alex, what happened last night," I falter as I stare into your eyes and clear my throat and trying to reinforce my voice, "What happened last night…" My words leave me as I become fascinated by your lips. Your plush, pink, soft lips are calling me as they had last night and who am I to deny the call.

I lean forward and press my lips to yours and smile against your mouth when I feel your hands settle gently against my hips and you pull me to your side closer than before. I open up my mouth slowly under yours and am rewarded by the gentle thrust of your tongue.

I pull back heaving, as I rest my forehead on your chest, "I need a moment…I need a moment, Alex this is too much, too soon. It's just too intense."

I stumble away from him shaking and I realize that the effect that I had once claimed was non-existent was very real and it was alive. He reached out and touched a strain of my red hair, "Addison, you can't deny what's between us. It won't work, besides you made the first move. You invited me in."

I nod to myself sadly, I had opened the door for this to happen, and now I had to finish what I started. I had to take responsibility for my actions. I nod and look into your eyes, "You're right, I did invite you in…"

Alex smiled at me, a soft, breezy smile that let him know that my change of heart had pleased him. I hesitate and realize that I'm back in the middle of a relationship again, a place I thought I would never get to, not after everything. I was back with a man who was looking at me with warmth in his eyes and I was happy. I was happy for the first time, since I had become Addison Forbes Montgomery.

I pull back and look into his eyes and smile softly, "Do you want to go out on a date with me?"

I watch as your eyes light up with excitement and I feel a fluttering in my chest that lets me know that I'm taking the right route. I had regrets, everyone had regrets but I couldn't live my life drowning in my own regrets. He nods softly and then presses his lips to mine and said, "I would love to Dr. Montgomery."

I pull back and stare into his twinkling eyes and say, "It won't be easy." You smile with that smile, the one that lets me know that everything is okay and say, "Nothing worth fighting for ever is."

And that was enough for me. For the second time in Addison Forbes Montgomery life she was taking a chance, a chance on love. She was terrified but he was with her and everything would be okay.

* * *

The end...This just flew out of my fingers last night and I wanted to share it with you before I lost my nerve. Let me know  
your thoughts. Thanks EP 


End file.
